


Badger Fight

by GothMoth



Series: May's Phantastical Callings [16]
Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Furry, Fursuiting, Gen, Tucker's A Furry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-05-28 15:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19397107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothMoth/pseuds/GothMoth
Summary: Vlad’s had always wanted his little badger, just not like this.





	Badger Fight

“Sam! Sam!”

“What is it, Tucker?”, Sam chuckles a bit at the, clearly overexcited, Tucker. Tilting her head back at him as he runs up, shoving his phone in her face, “look! It’s exactly Danny’s height and build! You so need to buy this”. 

Sam gapes at the screen for only a second before groaning loudly, “Tucker, why the hell would Danny want a fursuit? You’re the furry here”. Tucker shakes his head at her, rather disappointed, “Sam, it’s a badger. That’s reason enough”. 

“I don’t think I follow, it’s not like Danny even likes badgers. His personality doesn’t even m-”, Sam cuts herself off as Tucker slams his head into the table while laughing his ass off. “What? You damn moron?”, Sam doesn’t like being the butt of a joke, especially not a Tucker joke. 

“Sam, Vlad. He literally calls Danny “little badger””, gesturing at his phone, “Danny’s always little but now he can be a badger too”. Sam facepalms knowing full well Danny would indeed be all over doing some prank with this. Sighing at Tucker’s pleading face, “well its current bid is only six hundred. But if that turns out to be a damn murrsuit you are a dead man”. Tucker glares at her, mildly insulted, “I’m not that weird”. Tucker judges from Sam raised an eyebrow, that she doesn’t really believe him. But she takes his phone anyways and places a bid. 

Sam shakes her head at the eight hundred dollar bill, but Tucker’s pretty darn pleased when the massive box shows up the next day. “I honestly think you just want to get Danny in one of these. You’re like an excited puppy”, Sam eyeballs Tucker as he giddily rips into the box in her bedroom. Smirking down at the suit as he lays it on the floor, before rummaging through his bag. 

Sam goes wide-eyed and feels a bit confused as Tucker pulls out a bundle of phase proof neon green fabric. Snickering at Sam, “can’t have him phasing through it, now can we”. This gets Sam to bend over laughing, “you’re evil, but I’m pretty sure he won’t need to phase it off to get out of it”. 

“What? Well duh. No, it’s so he won’t accidentally phase it off while punching Vlad in the face or something”

“I’m pretty sure Danny actually has control now, you idiot. But fair enough, Danny is exactly the person to accidentally ruin his own, or our, joke”, Tucker points at her as he lays out and cuts up the fabric to line the suit, “exactly. Besides, he’s used to phasing whatever off himself. The only reason he doesn’t lose his jumpsuit is cause it's part of him”. Turning to face Sam, “is it sad that the creepiest thing about our friend being half dead, is that he has two sets of skin?”. 

Sam rolls her eyes, “death ain’t no big deal. And you’re the only one who finds that creepy”. Tucker only rolls his eyes as he starts stitching. Sam joins him after a beat, “you know, most people don’t get this good at sowing because they constantly have to practice on their friends' skin”. 

“Didn’t you literally stitch through his leg bone or something once?”, Sam grimaces a bit as she responds, “yeah, stupid ectoline is the only crap that could hold the bones in place. And wrapping it around just wasn’t working”, muttering more to herself, “god that was such a fucking mess”. 

Sam blinks a bit as she clues in that Tucker is intending for Danny to literally have a ghost fight, with Vlad, in a fursuit. Which definitely can not auto-heal or self-repair, “this thing is going to get fucking destroyed”. Tucker smirks and finger guns at her, “worth it. It’s not like you can’t afford to be frivolous”. Both of them know he’s right, as Tucker lifts up and smirks at the finished, and ever so slightly glowing, fursuit, “and now to spring this on Danny’s ghostly ass”. 

Danny was having a nice nap in a tree, but looking down at his devilishly grinning friends means today is going to get weird, well, more weird. Looking at what is clearly a paw glove that had slapped him in the face, “must you assault me with your fetish?”. 

Tucker puts his hands on his hips, “still not a fetish”. Sam snickers at Tucker, “you’d think with all the anti-ghost crap Danny’d be less fond of stereotypes”. Danny rolls his eyes but laughs heartily, as he slips out of the tree, “oh and like you guys don’t throw ghost stereotypes at me”. 

“Oh please, like half of them are true. Sometimes intentionally on your part”, Danny makes a show of mock offence at Sam. Turning to Tucker and holding up the paw, “I thought you were more green and black though? What’s up with the solid black? I would say that’s not very otter but you furries don’t seem to give a shit about colour accuracy”. 

“Fuck the colour spectrum. We do what we wanna. But it’s not for me”, Danny raises his eyebrow while Tucker smirks, “it’s for you”. 

Danny looks back and forth between his to friends, realising they’re serious and both in on whatever this is, “ok? What fucked up thing did you plan without my knowledge?”. The two don’t even answer him, just motioning for him to follow them; which of course, he does. 

Danny instantly falls on his ass laughing the second he sees the suit, still laying on Sam’s floor. “Oh my god! Is it a badger?!”, wheezing a bit as he continues, “is it sad that I don’t even have to ask why?”. Tucker shakes his head and jabs his thumb in Sams’ direction, “no, what’s sad is that she had too”. 

“Well excuse me for not being a walking joke and a flaming trash fire mess of an excuse for a person”. Danny points at her now too, “hey now, I’m much more put together than our unlovable frootloop”. 

“Everyone is more stable than him, so that’s not saying much”, Tucker snickers a bit before adding his two cents, “face it, you’re a species of grade A what the fuck and dumb life choices”. 

“Can’t disagree there, neither of our asses would be halfas at all, if we weren’t perpetual cases of dumb fucking decisions”. Danny smirks a bit as he lifts up and shakes out the body of the suit, “why the hell do these things always look so damn accurate?”.

“For nearly a thousand dollars it damn well better”, Danny gapes at Sam before shaking his head. He and his friends have no clue what a normal life could ever fucking feel like. He only shakes his head more as Tucker shoves the suits head over Danny’s head, “Tuck, how the fuck am I supposed to embarrassingly punch the crap out of pseudo vampire ass, if I can barely see? People fucking dance in these things?”. 

Both Sam and Tucker are laughing too hard to really answer him and he’s got more questions, “and why the fuck is it glowing? This thing hasn’t even been to my house and it’s already got ghost problems”. 

“Pretty sure it became haunted the minute it came into contact with you”, Tucker nods and mutters, “you are walking ectoplasmic contamination”. Standing up straight and taking a few deep breaths, “but, for a change, a Fenton is not to blame”. Putting his hand to his chest and puffing it out, “you can thank yours truly, phase proof”. 

Danny starts laughing, which his friends find rather absurd looking with the badger head, “so Vlad won’t be able to just grab me through the suit or yank it off! His ass is actually going to forced to try to beat up a giant floating anthropomorphic badger!”. 

“Sure, let's go with that”, Danny glares at Sam, even if he knows she can’t tell, “you ass”. Both of his friends only roll their eyes at him as Tucker shoves the fursuit body at him. Danny’s damn good spacial awareness is really the only reason he can easily grab it without having to look right at it, muttering as he pulls it on, “this is like walking around with fucking toilet paper tubes over my eyes”. 

Tucker only snickers as he zips the back closed, “and you thought suiters having handlers was excessive”. Danny throws his hands up, “I thought that shit was just for fucking security or some shit”. 

“Handlers do a shit ton dude. Though they are mostly security for people like Telephone. Now hands”, Tucker stands back and smirks with a strong nod at the giant ghost containing badger. While Sam snickers, “now let’s see how much is left of it after we obviously do the dumb shit”. 

As Danny’s testing out floating inside a damn fursuit for the first time, all three can’t help but laugh and Danny’s laughing hard enough to make his floating extremely erratic, which is making his friends laugh even more. Danny eventually yanks his friends up into the air with him, doing spins while staring at the mirror, “Tuck, this is simultaneously the best and most stupid thing you’ve ever done”. 

“Not the stupidest thing you’ve ever done though”, Danny just straight up drops Tucker, “HA!”. Floating over the window, Danny points his finger out in the direction of Wisconsin. 

Danny floats behind his friends as they approach Vlad’s mansion, all sporting devilish grins. “Ok so how are we going to start shit, can’t just show up”, Sam mutters aiming to be a bit quiet. Danny turns his head to her, “since when do I need an excuse to be a thorn in his side”. 

“Pretty sure you do that by your very existence dude”

“Then all the more reason to do it more aggressively”, Danny knows full well neither of them can see his smirk as he already knows full well what he wants to do. Going to tap on his chin and thus promptly smacking his hand into the chin of the suit head causing Tucker to snicker. 

Vlad barely gets a chance to jolt in surprise as badger Danny phases through a wall and full speed decks him in the face. 

Rolling away as he transforms and stares confused at the badger? That, while glowing and floating, doesn’t look like an actual animal ghost. Only going on the attack as the badger? aggressively flies at him again. 

But Vlad is promptly getting frustrated with how damn good this thing is at dodging, while the hidden Sam and Tucker glare at the scene. Tucker mutters, “so the idiot can dodge. He just... doesn’t”. But neither can really be unimpressed with Danny as he slams Vlad repeatedly over the head with a chair.

Vlad, annoyed, swats away the chair erratically like it’s a really annoying fly. Getting caught off guard by badger Danny rapidly sliding his face/the fursuit head, in front of Vlad’s face. Vlad only gets a second to jerk and glare at the glass eyes before Danny head-buts him, though he hadn’t actually intended to do that. However, Vlad does slash open the neck of the fursuit, slightly confused as he can feel that it’s just damn fabric. 

Danny jerks around and makes a show of pretending to be injured before kicking a globe at Vlad, which Vlad easily backhands away, not even bothering to move the rest of his body. 

Knowing full well Vlad’s probably going to figure it out as soon as he catches a glimpse of Danny’s Phantom suit under the fursuit, Danny charges at him and just swings erratically. Effectively shoving one paw glove in Vlad’s mouth, which Vlad bites down on. Danny makes a point of holding on to the glove as he yanks his hand out of Vlad’s mouth, leaving shreds of fur in Vlad’s mouth in the process. 

The sight of fur sticking out the sides of the prideful halfas mouth is too much for Danny to not burst out laughing at. His voice, of course, giving him away for sure, so he hovers quickly over Vlad; opening the fursuit mouth and pouring out the vomit like mixture of ectoplasm and frootloops on top of Vlad’s head. 

Vlad wipes aggressively at his hair, “DANIEL!”. Actually a fair bit pissed off now, Vlad claws at and onto the fursuit, shredding up the chest and shoulders enough to reveal the DP. Danny gut punches him, “it’s Danny bitch!”. Vlad throws his hands up exasperatedly before just going on a full out ecoblast centric assault on Danny. Which Danny mostly avoids, not really wanting the fursuit, which was stupidly expensive to his teenage brain, to get flat out ruined. 

Chuckling ominously behind Vlad, “you know, badgers are actually pretty fearsome creatures”, before kicking Vlad in the back of the knees and shooting an ectobeam out of part of his one chewed on glove. Sending Vlad close enough to where Sam and Tucker are hiding for them to slam the pink inflatable tube over the halfa. “One giant frootloop for the giant frootloop!”, halfway through their joke Vlad just flat-out explodes the tube; it’s not like it was any kind of actual capture device. 

Vlad spins around on the two, seconds before Danny stomps both his feet onto Vlad’s head. Who spins around and backhands Danny into a wall. Giving Danny’s friends a chance to scamper off. “You are an affront to all my affection, Daniel”, Vlad deadpans while Danny just flips him off. 

Danny takes Vlad duplicating as the sign to fuck off from this, but not before one of the duplicate Vlad’s claws the back of the fursuit head up and yanks it off. Danny quickly snaps his teeth around the snout of the fursuit head, and kicks the duplicate in the shin. Vlad takes this moment to just flat-out unzip the suit rather anticlimactically. Danny makes a show of covering himself up like he’s naked and cries sarcastically, dropping the fursuit head, “yOu PoUcHeD mE! wHaT? yOu DoN’t AlReAdY hAvE a BaDgEr PeLt?!”. Danny snickers as he takes Vlad’s punch straight to the face, “oh yeah that’s right, the badger is just another thing you can’t obtain”. Flying down and scooping the fursuit head back up in his mouth purely cause it likely looks absurd. And Danny was damn well going to leave more teeth marks in this thing than Vlad, just to one-up him. 

Tucker skids over, Action Movie style, snatching up the fursuit body as it slumps to the ground unceremoniously. Not really giving a shit as to how the hell the feet and hand paws are still on Danny, but thoroughly amused as Danny decks Vlad in the face. 

Danny blasts another Vlad duplicate in the face before crashing out the window, shattering the glass as he doesn’t even bother to phase through it. Sam and Tucker vaulting out after him. 

Vlad glances backs and forth from the shreds of fake fur in his hands to the trio, as they run (or fly, in Danny’s case) with Sam and Tucker dragging the mangled fursuit by the ankles across the ground as they flee, cackling all the while.

**End.**


End file.
